Category Archives: Stories

Plagiarism. Or: An Honest Mistake.

Dramatis Personae:

Student (hereafter: S)

Professor (hereafter: P)

Setting: The professor’s office. The professor is sitting behind the desk reading through some papers. A knock on the door is heard.

P: Come in please!

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Flight (Ultimate Freak Show)

by IlluminatedToast

Jump! Jump! Jump!

The crowd shouted rhythmically.

Jump! Jump! Jump!

The ultimate freak show, nationally televised every other Sunday, was always well attended. Ticket prices had been persistently too high. Still the event would sell out within minutes after tickets went up for sale as would the official logo jerseys – black, anthropomorphic shape, limbs sticking out at unusual angles, on red ground.

Jump! Jump! Jump!

The ultimate freak had never backed out in the history of the event, despite contractual obligation stipulating the inclusion of such an option. Nobody really understood the reasons behind the existence of such a clause. Insurance purposes were most frequently speculated about whenever the topic was brought up in conversation which on the whole only very rarely happened. After all, the ultimate freak had never backed out.

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Standing high up on the highway overpass, the ultimate freak would often remain still for a moment, look down, and sway a little before ending the show to the swelling clamour of the crowd; releasing people to buy spicy, roasted MisteriMeatz-on-Stixx – usually something cloven-hoofed; or, as annually resurfacing rumour had it, anything that had crawled close enough to the site to die. Continue reading

Bye Bye Gunnie and Alfie, I miss you already!

By Nadine Schwizer

Click here to read all entries into this series of columns.

Wednesday, 24/02/2016

Here I am with my last post, and it’s a sad one, I’m afraid: Gunnie and Alfie are gone!

Last Friday, I went to the doctor’s for my post-op check-up… Even though I knew this was going to be the day that I’d told to wear normal shoes again (and I even had a pair of trainers with me), it really only hit me once my surprisingly cute surgeon said in a very matter-of-fact way: “Let’s do it, then: time for normal shoes again”.

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Our first crisis

By Nadine Schwizer

Click here to read the first two entries into this series of columns.

Thursday, 04/02/2016

It’s been almost two weeks since my last post, so you must all be dying wondering what incredible experiences I’ve shared with Gunnie and Alfie lately. Since I wouldn’t want any of my readers to despair having to spend yet another week without any updates, here it comes…

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What a fun night I’m having with my pals Gunnar and Alfred

By Nadine Schwizer

Click here to read the first entry into this series of columns.

Friday, 22/01/2016

I’m a 22-year-old on a Friday night in Zurich and I just spent the night having pizza and playing Singstar and Buzz on the Playstation with two friends of mine (and Gunnar and Alfred of course) and absolutely zero drinks (thanks to my painkillers, which have so far been my best mates, right after Gunnar and Alfred). So far, so good.

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Meet Gunnar and Alfred, My Sexy Hallux Shoes and New Best Mates

By Nadine Schwizer

Tuesday, 19/01/2016

Yesterday, I had an operation in which my hallux valgus (the bone that can be found on the inside of the foot right behind the big toe that with some poor bastards like me doesn’t want to align with the rest of the foot, which results in quite an unattractive and above all very painful foot situation) was straightened.

After a night filled with almost unbearable pain because my bandage was far too tight (thank you very much, dear doctors!), I finally got to meet my two new partners in crime and best friends for the next few weeks this morning: my post-OP hallux valgus shoes, which I decided to name Gunnar (the big one) and Alfred (his little brother). Why did I name them? You will hear more about their adventures as this little column goes on and learn to understand!

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Glad Tidings

Dear X,

You’re probably surprised that I’m sending you this break-up letter considering that you probably don’t even know my name. So, don’t you worry, this letter has really nothing to do with you. Truly: it isn’t you, it’s me.

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