Category Archives: Comment

No, Switzerland Is Not a Gun Paradise

By Fabia Morger

In the light of recent events, I occasionally hear voices in the murky corners of the Internet referring to Switzerland as a country where everybody is “armed to the teeth” and, yet, we’ve never had a school shooting and everyone’s leading a perfectly happy, gun-loving life. It’s usually accompanied with this photo, although, to be honest, I haven’t been able to find out whether the landscape and the people in the picture are actually Swiss. The weapons they’re carrying look like the standard weapon of the Swiss army (SG550), so it might be authentic:


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Looking Down

By Raph al Guul

In essence, that’s exactly what the world is; a tiny apartment next to a giant strip club. Blurred boundaries, the strippers almost intruding into your living room. Through the kitchen window you can see the neon lights and the men underneath, sucking down the smoke from their cheap cigarettes. The world is a place where you can stare through the glory-hole and feel good about yourself for being better than complete strangers. You can silently judge them while masturbating behind locked doors.

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How to Have Consensual Sex in Sweden (or Anywhere in the World)

By Fabia Morger

In light of the media hype surrounding the new Swedish consent law, confusion seems to have arisen about how to have consensual sex. I mean, how on earth can anybody find out if their partner actually wants to have sex? It’s one of the greatest world mysteries right next to the Collatz conjecture. But, worry not, Fabia’s got your back. Since I’m obviously a genius, I’ve managed to have consensual sex in Sweden more times than I can count (sorry for the overshare but now you know – I am having sex!), and I’m going to share my wisdom with all of you. Are you ready to have your mind blown?

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by IlluminatedToast

Your voice is not representative or relatable.

Real writers can do that. You shouldn’t.

You sound like a character in a postmodern novel.

You can’t write about emotions. You don’t understand them.

If you have to make it public, it becomes a dishonest and selfish cry for attention.

Nobody is interested.

Keep it short.


Don’t be silly.

I did not read your answer.

I don’t care.


I am not a good writer.

I am not even average.

Everybody can do it. Why should I?

Nobody is interested. Nobody cares.

It’s pointless. It won’t do any good to anybody.

I don’t have anything to say.


You have stopped writing for this student newspaper quite a while ago. You have stopped writing altogether. It was probably the single most stupid thing you have ever done and, as the person who regularly swims out too far, gets lost in the woods at least once a month and who once tried to sell her baby brother to her childless neighbours, I can safely say that you have done your fair share of stupid things. Continue reading

The Self-Involved Talker

Disclaimer: this text is not an academic treatise of a serious topic. So, if you complain about emotional and unreasonable arguing – “lavabo in innocentia manus meas”! Continue reading

Bye Bye Gunnie and Alfie, I miss you already!

By Nadine Schwizer

Click here to read all entries into this series of columns.

Wednesday, 24/02/2016

Here I am with my last post, and it’s a sad one, I’m afraid: Gunnie and Alfie are gone!

Last Friday, I went to the doctor’s for my post-op check-up… Even though I knew this was going to be the day that I’d told to wear normal shoes again (and I even had a pair of trainers with me), it really only hit me once my surprisingly cute surgeon said in a very matter-of-fact way: “Let’s do it, then: time for normal shoes again”.

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Our first crisis

By Nadine Schwizer

Click here to read the first two entries into this series of columns.

Thursday, 04/02/2016

It’s been almost two weeks since my last post, so you must all be dying wondering what incredible experiences I’ve shared with Gunnie and Alfie lately. Since I wouldn’t want any of my readers to despair having to spend yet another week without any updates, here it comes…

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