Bye Bye Gunnie and Alfie, I miss you already!

By Nadine Schwizer

Click here to read all entries into this series of columns.

Wednesday, 24/02/2016

Here I am with my last post, and it’s a sad one, I’m afraid: Gunnie and Alfie are gone!

Last Friday, I went to the doctor’s for my post-op check-up… Even though I knew this was going to be the day that I’d told to wear normal shoes again (and I even had a pair of trainers with me), it really only hit me once my surprisingly cute surgeon said in a very matter-of-fact way: “Let’s do it, then: time for normal shoes again”.

After feeling hurt because of his very insensitive way of telling me that I should get rid of what became my best mates over the last four and a half weeks (quite reasonably, I think…), I couldn’t quite say goodbye to them yet. So I decided to wait until I got to my friend’s house right after my appointment. On my way there, I started picturing this nearly ceremonial moment in my head: I was thinking about candles, dramatic music, me and my friend shedding a tear or two because we’re so moved; basically, the full Monty.

Well, the reality looked a bit different… When I got to the house, my friend didn’t hear me ringing the doorbell because she was still in the shower. So there I was. Outside. In the cold. It was raining and there was nowhere to get shelter. I looked down at Gunnie and Alfie for comfort, and that’s when I knew: It has to be now or never. So I sat down on this freezing cold stone and started taking off my shoes. Alfie first, because, let’s not kid anyone, he’s never been my favourite. After that it was Gunnie.

I opened Velcro after Velcro, until my dear Gunnie allowed my foot to leave him for good.

So there I was, sitting outside in the cold, rainy weather, wearing only socks. Gunnie and Alfie placed safely on the ground right at my feet. I felt lonely. They weren’t too far away from me, but it just wasn’t the same. But I had to be strong and continue this rather pitiful separation ceremony. So I grabbed my trainers and put them on very fast, band-aid style. It felt weird not looking like a complete twat anymore (but then again, I was sitting outside in the rain with Gunnie and Alfie lying there, looking about as lonely as I was feeling…).

I had about two minutes to process what had just happened before my friend arrived to let me inside. I was happy to not have to go through the rest of this very sad break-up on my own anymore, so I got up and walked towards her. And, oh boy, walking without Gunnie and Alfie, my dear, dear partners in crime, was a nightmare! It hurt. It felt weird. I was still walking like a complete buffoon. So I spent the rest of the day on my friend’s sofa – in my socks. I just couldn’t bear moving on and getting with any other shoes this quickly.

As time went by, I had to, tough… So here I am right now, sitting on the train in my trainers, writing the last bit of what I hope managed to put a little smile on your faces for some minutes in the last few weeks. My walking style is still rather “special” (putting it mildly), my foot still hurts every now and then, and I’m just waiting and hoping that I’ll be able to walk again normally at some point in the future.

As you see, I’m afraid this really is a sad last post, but I guess it just was time to say goodbye (yup, here the random song anecdote is again for one last time) to my dear pals Gunnie and Alfie. May they rest in peace (on my cupboard that is, always there for me to be reminded of the good times I’ve experienced with them). Thanks for everything, mates!


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