By Nadine Schwizer
Yesterday, I had an operation in which my hallux valgus (the bone that can be found on the inside of the foot right behind the big toe that with some poor bastards like me doesn’t want to align with the rest of the foot, which results in quite an unattractive and above all very painful foot situation) was straightened.
After a night filled with almost unbearable pain because my bandage was far too tight (thank you very much, dear doctors!), I finally got to meet my two new partners in crime and best friends for the next few weeks this morning: my post-OP hallux valgus shoes, which I decided to name Gunnar (the big one) and Alfred (his little brother). Why did I name them? You will hear more about their adventures as this little column goes on and learn to understand!
Now, you might be asking yourself, what’s so special about these absolutely stunning shoes that might well be the latest runway trend?
Well, first of all, they’re made for walking (yes, I’ve had this song stuck in my head all day…)! I literally can’t step out of my bed without them, and this won’t be changing for at least four weeks – unless of course I instinctively learn how to behave like a flamingo (still having high hopes for that to happen…).
Secondly, they are just soooo stunning, aren’t they? I mean, they give me the chance to show off my whole collection of beautiful fluffy winter socks (ranging from reindeer and Norwegian socks to the classic pink fluffies) not only at home, but even in public! Haven’t you always wanted complete strangers to see your awesome selection of fluffy socks through your sandals on the tram, at the shops, or just anywhere? Well, it’s gonna happen for me now – hurray!
In order to make clear to you just how important Gunnar and Alfred are to me, let me just quickly touch upon this one experience I just had a few hours ago, when these two lovely shoes weren’t with me. One word: showering! Imagine having to take a bloody shower when you can stand on one foot only, at all times. Let me tell you, it is not fun! I mean, it most definitely would’ve been hilarious to watch, but I nearly died trying to keep my balance and attempting to force my inner flamingo to push through to the outside.
Since the latter hasn’t happened yet (still hoping, though) and the act of keeping my balance was already more than tough in the hospital shower – which is supposed to make these things easier – I am actually very intrigued to see how this is supposed to ever work in my tiny old bathroom at home. Well, as you can see already, life without my buddies Gunnar and Alfred can be hard, and that’s why they deserve a column!
Unfortunately, I will have to say goodbye to my new mates for the night, but whenever I have to go to the loo or when I just miss them too much, they will always be near me, next to my bed, waiting for me to pick them up again and be awesome with them. So see you soon, when I can tell you more about the great adventures I experience with good ol’ Gunnar and Alfred!