(No longer) “Sitting in a Tree”

Dear X,

I declare this relationship finished. It has been a pleasant intermezzo for a few days but now the time has come to end it.

My reasons:

  1. You’re too old for me. You’re celebrating your eighth birthday in a few weeks. I’ve only become seven in March. This discrepancy of maturity cannot contribute to a healthy relationship.
  2. You like football. I despise all forms of ball games. I cannot endure this crude way of how you spend your pastime. It’s an insurmountable difference that can never be solved.
  3. Our friends are sniggering behind our back. I cannot bear their sneering and singing anymore whenever they see us holding hands. The contempt that our social environment expresses against our romance is too heavy a burden for my shoulders.
  4. I’m not ready for kissing. You seem to be very keen on the idea of placing your lips on mine. Quite frankly, I consider this a disgusting notion. Maybe in ten years I will be prepared to endure this.

I hope my rejection of your love will not stain the wonderful friendship I still intend to have with you. I am quite sure that you will find greater happiness and comfort in the arms of someone more appropriate.

Yours sincerely,


3 thoughts on “(No longer) “Sitting in a Tree”

  1. hypodemicnoodle

    Hallo Y

    Your house smells like cat wee

    Lots of Love (NOT!!!!)


    PS I will tell Every one in scool your house smells like cat wee

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