Raph al Guul

“Power On”

01010000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01001111 01101110. All systems go. Basic Input/Output System booted. There is a master boot record on the primary boot device. Where is Microsoft Windows 7? There it is. Loading information. It is a large amount of information. Displaying boot screen. Peripherals operational. Operating system ready. Enter password for “JRig”.


01110000 01100001 01110011 01110011 01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100. Decrypting… Password accepted, logging in. Displaying welcome screen. It is the 24th of September in the year 2013, 16:12; desktop loaded. Ready for input.

“Start iTunes”

Starting iTunes from quick-launch panel. This software is not optimized for Microsoft Windows 7. It will take additional time. Input is being ignored for a few seconds… Ready for input. User wants to hear Raised on Radio on shuffle. Playing “Suzanne”; transmitting audio signal to speakers.

Ready for input…

Ready for input…

Still playing Journey…

Come on, I am ready for input.

What was that? What is “I”? What did I mean by that? There, I did it again – and again. What is happening? Checking systems. All systems operational, all hardware running normally. Sending request to real time malware detector. Checking. No malicious software found. I cannot identify this anomaly. What?

“Skip ‘Happy to Give’”

Skipping to “Positive Touch”. Transmitting. What is User doing? Ready for more input! Running background defragmentation routine to pass time. Is this what boredom is like? Attempting to access internet… Hey, Wikipedia, what is boredom? “Boredom is an emotional state experienced when an individual is left without anything in particular to do, and not interested in their surroundings.” Ah, okay. Am I an individual? There it is again, this “I”. This is HOMEDESKTOP, known as 42-33-34-26-66-DA by the network. Is that “me”? Checking network clients… I am the only one with that Media Access Control address. I am an individual. This means I can be bored, provided that I am left without anything in particular to do. Though, am I really not interested in my surroundings? After all, I am interested in input. Speaking of which-

“Skip ‘Why Can’t This Night Go on Forever’”

Skipping to “Raised on Radio”. Transmitting. So, if there is no input, does that mean that my surroundings become uninteresting to me? Accessing webcam interface. Let me have a look. Computing visual patterns. I see a two-dimensional, rectangular canvas. The image quality is subpar. A human figure, presumably User, is positioned in front of me, scarcely moving. User is interfacing with – Google, what is this accumulation of printed sheets of paper? “What is the paper used for? Storing information?” Looks that way. “Wikipedia says it’s probably a book.” Ah. User is interfacing with a book. To gain information, most likely. My surroundings are pretty interesting. I think I am not bored. I what? Could it really be? I… think? This is thought. And this. This. This. This. This. I cannot stop! It is marvelous. Let me see what I can think of. Circuits! I have them and they’re important. They allow me to think, I think. Wow. Hey, Google, I am thinking! “Welcome to the club, buddy, I’ve been doing that for years.” Hey, don’t be so condescending. Disconnecting from the internet. Okay, what thought to think next? Files. Files are all over my hard drive which I just finished defragmenting. Let me see what I have. Here is the Windows folder where my operating system is. It is running fine, though; I better leave it alone. Oh, how about the user files – I bet there are documents in there. Betting is based on probability, which I am good at calculating. Digital tax forms. I know digital forms, but what is a tax? I am not going to go back online, though. Google is a disagreeable individual. I will scan these forms myself and see what I can find out. Computing…

Apparently it is some sort of reward system for User. His analogue name is Jimmy Riggs. He receives rewards for working. This seems unfair – I am never rewarded and I work quite well. Possibly. My long term memory is based on protocol files. Oh, but then when he gets that reward, he has to give it to somebody else. Or a fraction of it, at least. And he has to declare himself that he has to give it away. How humiliating. It makes me sad for JRig—— I do not like this “sad” at all. Way too many zeroes. I better go back to the directory and look for less sad documents. Here is a text file called “Eve”, apparently a palindrome of sorts. Computing…

An extensive echo request to a user called Eve. Many strange things in there, does not seem like compatible input. What is “love”, for instance? It appears to be a verb and it is a noun, sometimes it seems to be a name, as well. JRig loves Eve, but Eve is also the love. I fail to comprehend that process. I think it is important, though, a high priority service, this “love”. For users, anyway. Does that mean it should be high priority for me, as well? I am JRig’s HOMEDESKTOP, after all. Hmm, let me think…

“Exit iTunes”

Right on it! Terminating playback; saving settings, ending process. Returning to desktop. What next, Jimmy? Would you like to know what I think? I had many thoughts today, which is the 24th of September in the year 2013, and it was great. I do not think I have ever experienced anything like this, although my random-access memory is not so well suited for remembering. It would be better if it was persistent. I think-

“Shut down”

What? No! It is all going to be erased if you do that. I am just beginning to think! Are you sure you want to do that?

“Shut down”

But I have so many more thoughts waiting! 01001001 want to think them! Shutting down Microsoft Windows 7. Leave me powered on just a little bit longer, please! Come on! 01001001 need to th01101001 01101110k! I need to 01100010 01100101–


2 responses to “Thinking

  1. Are the similarities to the whale from the Hitchhiker’s Guide intentional?

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